India 5.0 - I'm skipping to the end, for now

So, they say, in some of the most sacred places of India that the actual place can choose to let you in or not. Sometimes this means you won’t actually make it to the place. Sometimes this means you will get there and have to immediately leave. Sometimes this means that all you ‘see’ is the surface of the place and it’s not letting you ‘in’, per se.  It’s all in your soul and your heart and in your deepest desires. If you aren’t ready and you aren’t considered worthy, then the place won’t meet you.  I think I’m tending to believe this is true for pretty much all of India.  One day, I hope to speak the same about other parts of the world; however, my quest is here for now and probably for a while. 

I say this as I head back to the US tomorrow. I am sad. I know I will miss India with every part of myself. I know I will long for when I get to come back. And, I managed to get pretty sick last week. Some sort of allergic reaction that went into my bloodstream and manifested as the worst rash I’ve ever had, in my life, all over... then, because I scratch when I itch, even in sleep, ‘they’ think it got infected.  If I can tell you how brutal of an experience it was, I’m not sure you’d want to hear about it. Let’s just suffice it to say that I’m mostly better and am on my way back to the US.  

India let me know it was time to be done for now.  Time to regroup, reorganize, deal with some family stuff that’s cropped up, and get healthy before heading back out.  And, I’m okay with that. I wasn’t 100% ready to go back and I completely understand why I’m heading back.  

Funny, I got to see Radhanath Swami before I got sick and he said, as he was leaving India, “You, I’ll be praying for. I’ll be seeing you, soon.”  First, Thank GOD he’s praying for me. I certainly need it.  And, apparently he knew something I didn’t because he’ll be not far from where I’ll be, next week... HA! I love this path on so many levels!

In India, I got to come right up against everything I’ve been praying about for the last 8 or so months and got scared.  I have been very intent on what I’ve wanted. I have been very clear about what I wanted. At least I thought I was.  Then, this entire community started to welcome me and the God I was praying to started to answer my prayers and I got nervous.  So, given the opportunity to ask my Spiritual Master (that’s the placeholder I’ll be putting Radhanath Swami until we’re 100% clear that he is or isn’t) for guidance and help and shelter in his infinite wisdom, I froze. I got stuck in the mire of what does this look like? How do I fit in? Blah Blah Blah... and, that moment was forever lost.  Luckily, for me, this process has been ever so merciful and I get to ask myself if this is what I want, if this is where I want to be, if this is the Spiritual Path I want to take (even though I’ve been asking for it for months) and, if the answer is yes, I will get another chance.  Of this, I am sure.  

Because, what I’ve also learned about myself is I don’t give of myself easily. I don’t trust easily. I don’t rely on others easily. I would MUCH rather do everything on my own.  And, guess where that got me? On my own... duh.  And, what I realized, on a path to God, one can only go it ‘on their own’ for so long until they need help. Invariably, there will come a time when they will need guidance from someone who has walked the path before them.  This mentor, guru, priest, father, rabbi, etc. can come in many forms to suit the path that every person has chosen and resonates with... I am at this point.  Do I walk away, ‘content’ with how far I’ve come? Or, do I take a look at where I am and ask for help? Depend on others? Rely on others? and step forward from where I am? 

India knew I got scared and is sending me back to the US.  Amazing, huh?

Don't worry, the blog isn't ending... There is so much more waiting to happen!

India 4.1

I've been here for 6 weeks!!! Some moments it feels like a lifetime and some moments feel like an instant! Wow!

So, Mayapur and back to Mumbai.  I got to spend a week in Mayapur with some amazing people.
My dear Swami friend, Indradyumna Swami, suggested I go to Mayapur to experience the home of a huge Indian festival.  Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu came to earth 500 years ago to spread the glories of Kirtan. Now, I <3 Kirtan. In case anyone didn't notice. I highly recommend at least 1 experience of Kirtan in your life. Take note before you go, and notice while you're there, is there a moment of upset during your experience? I have yet to meet someone who has had a sad/frustrating/bad/angry/you name it experience while chanting Kirtan. "They" (the people I've been hanging out with) that Kirtan is purifying. One can walk into it with all those negative feelings and come out feeling completely transformed. It's powerful and fun and one of my favorite things on earth. I've since learned how much I love the mobile version of Kirtan called Harinam. Lord Chaitanya is credited with expanding the Harinam movement all over India. Gaura Prenima is the celebration of his "birth" and Mayapur is where he was "born". So, I went to celebrate.

It was wild! They say approximately 3/4 of a million people pilgrimage and visit Mayapur for Gaura Prenima. Let me tell you, I saw a good chunk of them! :) It's a pretty wild experience to be in India, at the heart of, during such a celebration. And, in Bengal, the poorest and most populous state of India, it's a totally different experience. These people walk with their elbows I tell you. I haven't been shoved so much in my life (though I haven't tried the public train system here)... So, I am beyond grateful for the experience to see and be in Mayapur before, during and after the festival.  I've heard Mayapur explained as the Hawaii of India. It's lush, tropical and pineapple fields are replaced by rice paddies. The people are beautiful and the country side is amazing.  I was lucky enough to stay with some people with easy access to the Ganges and got to 'dip' in it almost every day. With the eve of summer coming, you better believe I dipped in the refreshing, and they say purifying, Ganges. I met more amazing people who I will know for all of my life and have added to my family.

Then, I came back to Mumbai where I am hoping for a chance to speak to Radhanath Swami. I've spoken about him and am hoping he can also aid in my spiritual advancement.  What I've learned is, as a solitary person, one can only go so far.  On a spiritual path, virtually everyone I have studied with says you need a guru. Technically, no matter what you aspire to, one needs a master. How else does an engineer become and engineer? A master. Same thing, different names, different applications. I've gotten, I think, as far as I can go and am now asking for help. For those of you who know me, that's a big deal. I'm learning more and more about the bounds of my ideas of surrender and what does that really mean. It's a wonderful process. So, say a little prayer blessing for me, if you would.

Back to Ayurveda:
So, you remember me saying that I didn't get much information from my experience in southern India about my PK? The hospital we visited a few weeks ago has a GREAT Ayurvedic doctor and I decided to go back and get a full consultation.  I went with some new friends who were getting a check up as well. It was GREAT! I haven't been digesting food so well. I suspected it was because I ate a ridiculously large amount of pizza in Mayapur and I'm noticing that my body isn't so stoked on much cheese and wheat. Turns out, my intuition was pretty correct. I feel just fine, I'm just not you know, digesting food so well. So, I got a visit with the doctor, a full consultation and medicine for a week for the whopping price of 450 rupees (this is approximately $12).  Yeah, pretty sure I'll be taking care of all my future Ayurvedic needs here... Turns out, I'm a pitta/kapha not a kapha/pitta. There were a few key things about a kapha that weren't sitting quite right with me and I was relieved to hear this.  He gave me medicine and a strict diet to follow for the next 7 days (we need to get my tongue back to red, right now it's white and my appetite is a mess) and then a 30 day window to find out what the 'right amount of food for me is'.

Now, you and I have heard about a million different suggestions as to what the right amount is, right? Here's his advice because everyone is different and not one rule can be applied to anyone...
for 30 days, monitor your reactions when you eat.
- how is your breathing? labored or pressured - too much food
- are you sleepy for more than 10 minutes after eating - too much food
- can you walk, talk, laugh easily?
- do you have any abdominal pressure?
Now, tell me this isn't common sense. But, how often do we ignore the signs? And, after really paying attention to these signs, we can figure out how much is too much and how much is too little. And, eat that amount. Duh. This is to maintain our weight. If we'd like to lose (like I would) he has a special diet just for that for me to follow, later.
He also gave me all sorts of advice on what kind of food to eat when, time of day, sleep amounts, spiritual needs as a result of my dosha, etc. I have pages to organize on this. I'm excited to see him again for the next level of my Ayurvedic learning.

I also have an entire entry to write about some other stuff he went over with me about the PCOS and other stuff I've discussed in the past. Never did I think I would be coming to India to really get, I mean REALLY GET the masculine/feminine roles in life. It seems to be coming up at every turn for me, which isn't a huge surprise for a few of you who know me well, I'm sure. Women, don't miss this entry! There will be some for everyone.

As for my friends who got a check up. I highly recommend finding a good hospital, that you trust and know, and getting some of your health care there. One woman I was with got a full annual check up for 1500 rupees = approx $40. Blood work, eye test, teeth, so on and so forth. This hospital, I trust implicitly and know many people who have gotten treatment there. If you're in Mumbai, go to Bhakti Vedanta Hospital and you'll save a bundle of money and get good treatment. Last time we were there, they had signs for mammograms for $500 rupees, yeah $15!

Also, one of the greatest things about this experience is the fact that all of the medicine and treatment I'm getting is herbal. I'm not going to get into the conversation about pharmaceuticals; however, wouldn't it be nice if we could all remember what it's like to treat our bodies healthfully? In a way that is right with nature? Not altering our body composition but working WITH our body composition? I'm infinitely glad to be drug free. I've taken 3 advil/excedrin for headaches in 6 weeks... that's it. I haven't felt more normal in a real real long time.

So, for now, I'm in a bit of a limbo. I had originally planned to go North to Rishikesh and Dharamshala about this time. We'll see if that happens. I should know in the next couple days. Amazing how things can move so fast, aren't they?

I'm hoping you are all enjoying life and are happy and contented.

Great love to you!

Till Now Summary

So, we think the major construction here hit some major communication lines. Phone, Internet, everything was out for a few days. And, I can get the internet on the ol’ reliable iPhone, I’m just creating the most amazing phone bills for myself in the process. Oh well. Even locals were without communication for a few days which is interesting. Makes me wonder what it was like before cell phones. I think I got my first one when I was around 20, so I did manage to live before that without Facebook, blogs and immediate contact with whomever might want it with me, right?

It just means that once I post this, you’ll get a whole download of information because I haven’t been able to sync up or get on a computer to load the blog for a while. That’s okay.

I’ve gone back and read some of what I’ve written and I’ve left out quite a bit of detail. I asked for your forgiveness while I processed it. 

Back to Mumbai.  In Mumbai, we stayed in the Radhagopinath Temple, this is the ‘home’ of Radhanath Swami. This place is unique in that there are about 200 Brahmacharis who live here full time.  It is an amazing center of devotion and devotional service. We had daily yoga, daily Prashadam (this is an amazing thing I’ll explain later)/food, daily prayer and daily learning.  It’s a beautiful, beautiful place both aesthetically and emotionally. 

We got the chance to visit one of the many kitchens for a program called Mid-day Meals. This 1,200 square foot kitchen (300 feet of food, 300 feet of cooking, 300 feet of cleaning, 300 feet of storage) serves 260,000 meals A DAY to kids in school. The program, in total, serves 860,000 meals A DAY to school kids in India. Impressed? If not, think about how they have to also deliver every single one of these meals for a strict 30 minute window of serving, eating and cleaning up (in India remember, have we talked about the traffic here?).  Not Impressed yet? How about that there is a different meal each day of the week (6 days a week) and it’s all organic? If you’re not impressed yet, your hearts' made of stone... :)

We visited a hospital called BhaktiVedanta.  Devotional Service to the Lord Hospital. Yep. Love it.

From Radhagopinath, we traveled to an amazing Eco Village/Farm called Govardhan.  This place melted my heart. They are building a Yoga/Ayurvedic retreat center here that is the smartest, the SMARTEST living I’ve ever witnessed.  Converting Cow Manure into biofuel, building a swimming pool with all natural products (yeah, no red eye chlorine infested skin stuff), an Ayurvedic center, dorms, ‘cabins’, a whole area for the Cows, a new Temple, registration area, living quarters for employees, Organic farming, homemade milk, cream, ghee (YUMMMMMM), and so much more.  Not just smart in what they’re building it’s also HOW it’s being built.  The biofuel area is built specifically so that it can run from collection easily, into fuel to the nearby kitchen, into ‘waste’ that’s really great for the agriculture that’s right next to the repository.  This place is idyllic and brilliant and really incredible. 

What’s the cherry on top? The Service. We learned something about Bhakti.  Bhakti is everything you know it to be (or not), devotion, love, etc.; however, the next level of Bhakti is devotional service. The people I’ve been traveling with and staying with live their lives with Krishna/God as the center. Try this for just a couple hours, never mind a day or a life... ask yourself, what would God want? Not what would I want. What would God want? And, everything, EVERYTHING they do is in the service to God. So, the service has this most fantastic flavor to it. It’s sweet and delicate and caring and generous.  This is what really melted me at the farm.  I can’t explain it to you much better than that because it was so experiential for me.  

Then, we went to Vrindavan. I’ve talked some about it, in theory as well; however, this is another experiential place.  What really made it magic, for me, was meeting a man named Indradyumna Swami.  He is a Swami who has been studying God and serving for 40 years. He gets it. We were ever so fortunate to have his association for quite a bit. His schedule allowed for quite a bit of time with him, which is very unusual. These 'guys', Radhanath Swami and Indradyumna Swami and quite a few others have HUGE HUGE followings.  Indradyumna Swami could see that I was starting to get overwhelmed with everything and took a good amount of time out of his day to sit me down and talk with me about my path.  He never once looked at his watch, never once made me feel like I was taking his time, nothing. I actually was feeling a little selfish at how much time I had with him, knowing there had to be a whole line of people waiting to see him.  So, he gave me some guidance, thus how I got to Mayapur. If I’m really serious about this whole God thing. If I like what I’m experiencing. If I want to know more. I want to learn more. If all of that. THEN, he’s helped guide me.  And, because when we’re in the presence of a Spiritual Master, someone who get’s it, someone who’s done all this before, sometimes we get a little choked up and have a hard time expressing ourselves. He recommend that I go back to Radhanath Swami, and if he’s who I feel this with, ask for his guidance.  So, I go back to Mumbai tomorrow.  After that, no idea.

I’m sure in a week or so, I’ll be able to talk about Mayapur. Very different than Vrindavan, but also very interesting.  I’m so excited to have made new friends and glad to be able to come back and visit again.

Practicalities...

Laundry.  So, I mentioned I wash my clothes daily.  My roommate in South India left me some of her powder laundry soap which has been an absolute lifesaver, THANK YOU KAY!!! Tip for traveling. BRING A DRAIN STOP. In India, there are buckets everywhere for you to wash your clothes in. In case there’s not, bring a plug of some sort. I haven’t seen any and mine has been VERY useful. Get a flimsy one, not one of those hard ones, the drains are all different sizes.  You can get laundry powder here for something like 50 cents, so don’t bother bringing any. Also, clothespins are good to have. I bought them here for the other 50 cents of that dollar, but you can bring them if you’d like. 

Shoes:  I brought 1 pair of flip flops and 1 pair of sneakers. I’ve worn the sneakers a couple times and they’ve been useful... unfortunately, or I’d get rid of them. They can be a pain to pack.  I’m on my second pair of flip flops. There are shoes for sale all over the place and I got a great pair of flips for $5 in Vrindavan and left my ‘bad’ flips for someone less fortunate to find.

Stomach Issues: So, you’re bound to have some sort of stomach issues. I’ve been not ‘feeling it’ for about a day a two.  I highly, highly recommend a 24 hour fast when this happens. And, since I’m pretty cleaned out, 24 hours of not eating really makes a difference. Travel days are great for this for a couple reasons. 1. you’re traveling and you never know what you’re going to encounter in terms of food and facilities. 2. In India, on a Spiritual Pilgrimage, it’s often really great to help prepare your body for the next stop.  So, the trip to Vrindavan can only be helped by fasting on the travel day there, as opposed to potentially emotionally or unconsciously eating.

  

I ate 1 time today to get me through the day and I’ll be fasting through tomorrow.

Okay, do you feel caught up? I do. Mostly.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

India 3.1

So, that happened. “That” being Vrindavan, India. They say, if you want to see Vrindavan, if you want to experience Vrindavan, if you want to feel Vrindavan, you must take a guide. A guide must take you behind the veil of poverty, dust, seeming destitution. Once one has walked behind that veil, one may never leave Vrindavan. I experienced that. I had the most amazing guides, the most amazing leaders, the most amazing introduction to the sweet, juicy, nectar filled world of Vrindavan.  I get it. I didn’t want to leave and I am craving my next visit, like they said I would. So much happened, I cannot even begin to explain it all. 

Let’s start with some practical information:

Some personal hygiene. 

Neti Pot. Neti Pot. Neti Pot. When you are traveling in a dusty, dry and dirty area, Neti Pot as much as possible. I haven’t been as much as I could, but believe me, all that gets stuck in your nose. It’s worth a run through of some salty water to clean you up.

Left Hand Watchers.  You know who you are.  Yeah, if you’re going to be in India for any amount of time,  one may as well get over it and just deal with ‘it’.  You know what 'it' is. Here’s an interesting thought. I’ve never witnessed someone come out of the bathroom and not wash their hands here, in some form or another. America? All the time.  Think about that next time you dive into the ‘community’ pretzels at work. :)  BHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m still not perfect at the whole Indian toilet thing, but; getting there. 

Internet. Yeah, not super reliable.

Plans. They can change, and change a LOT!

I was supposed to be in Goa tonight, instead I’m on the complete other side of the country in Mayapor for a huge festival called Guara Pranema... 

It’s 8:30 and I’m going to bed because I’m tired and want to wake up at 3:30 for morning  prayer (it’s earlier in some temples).

Spiritual Pilgrims:

If you spend many months intently praying to God, begging for association with whatever that looks like for you, wanting your life to change with every cell in your body and you sincerely make the effort for that to happen; don’t be surprised when it does.  It happens. I’m a testament to that.  Clearly, I can't say that enough... right?

More later... 

India 2.4, 2.5

So, if you go to India for a Spiritual Pilgrimage, and your heart is set, deeply, on your desires; do not be surprised if everything you thought would happen changes to exactly what you need. 

I came here for approximately 4 months. I had the first month and a half planned out. 2 weeks at an ashram in South India, 2 weeks at Amma’s Ashram in South India, 2 weeks at a yoga retreat center in Goa (central West India) and then whatever. So, the first 2 weeks happened. I’m now into week 3 and find myself in Vrindavan for a 6 day stay and after the 6 days, I go back to Mumbai to stay in the Temple for an extended stay (that means, I’m not sure how long).  My hearts yearning has been strong and consistent and focused, though very open to the outcome. I am finding myself in awe that I have come to be at this point.  

One of my travel companions mis-booked her flight home which has changed our trip.  (It’s easy to do, I showed up in Africa an entire day earlier than an entire group of 14 or so, so it’s been done.)  This allowed for our schedule to change and me to ask if I can go back to Radhagopinath Temple once our trip is over. The answer, yes.  We then got to decide about the last week of our trip, which included a trip up to Rishikesh and Haridwar. We have decided to stay in Vrindavan and soak up, sink into, relish and roll around in the sweet nature of the amazing city of Krishna’s home. My heart couldn’t be happier about these 2 changes in my schedule. Also, funny. The yoga retreat place had something go wrong with their restaurant and it seems the email from them explaining that that leg would be different was just part of the magic of the entire thing.  

Spiritual Travel Tip:

In some of these cities, you must have an ‘insider’ guide. Someone who knows how the city/temple/whatever works. This way, you get to go behind the veil, pull back the curtain and see the wizard. We are being led around by the most beautiful people who are filling us up with the most amazing information and teaching us to our hearts content. I’m so excited for our tour tomorrow of we don’t even know, by Lila, who has lived here for 7 years. I’m sure only more and more revelations will come.

Toiletries Packing Tip:

Unless you are really married to your soap, shampoo, etc. I say leave it at home and buy here. I have a great brand of shampoo and soap that I bought for something around $5. That’s shampoo, conditioner, soap and face wash all for $5, oh yeah and a new toothbrush.

I’m all over the board tonight. Haven’t had internet for days and am actually dreading when I do have it again, I’m not interested in “what’s out there” right now... interesting. I might have actually reached technology detox... that would be something amazing.  I need to sleep now. Morning Arati (prayer) is 1/2 hour earlier here. So, I must wake up at 4:10.

Blessings to you on your journey. May it be filled with all the magic needed for your hearts desires to come true.

India 2.5

A week without Internet. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I haven’t had the internet, plus, I’m actually thinking I’ve done a good job detoxing from it. 

India 2.2 and India 2.3

This morning, I got up at 4:30 to go pray. Yep, me. There are two things in that very short sentence that will shock a bunch of people I know.  1. I got up at 4:30.  2. To pray.  And, I plan on doing it again tomorrow.  

And then, we leave one of the most amazing places I’ve ever been.  With serenades of car horns and the lights of the city of Mumbia in the background, Radhagopinath Temple is a sanctuary of love, devotion, and service in action.  The community here has touched my soul with joy and happiness and awe.  The air is filled with the Maha Mantra and everyone is welcomed with love and acceptance.  

As a woman, in this community, I have many questions and worries. I wonder what does the Hindu world, the Krishna Conscious world think of an outspoken, exuberant, ‘powerful’ western woman? I don’t do meek and mild mannered very well. I know, you’re shocked by that confession.  The answer has been unfolding very beautifully. Though there are FAR fewer women than men and the Brahmacharis are the heart of the heart of community; I have felt watched over, protected, accepted (joyfully), included, and encouraged. Not only by the Brahmacharis as well as the women. I haven’t had an encounter yet where I haven’t felt like there hasn’t been a Mataji (Mother) looking out for me and many sisters including me.  I have done some Men’s and Women’s work on my path and am eternally grateful for it in this moment.  To have reverence and understand the differences between the Brotherhood and Sisterhood is serving me well. Instead of being resentful of the fact that I can’t ‘play’ with the guys, I get to feel a part of the fold of the girls.  I honor the men and their initiations and their circles and after an initial glance toward the love filled mosh pit (Thanks Vanessa for that description, it’s perfect), I didn’t look back because us women were doing our own dance (the Indian Electric Slide) and it was lovely.  I continue to have questions and they will continue to get answered I’m sure; and I look forward to the continual unfolding.  

There is so little I feel like I can ‘write on paper’ about the last few days because no matter the situation, I keep coming back to gratitude. I am so excited to learn, see, do and I am speechless in gratitude of what I have seen, learned and done.  I am a mix of reverence, observance, wonder and joy that my life has brought me to this moment.

And the FOOD???? I mean, the food is absolutely incredible! I am in heaven with food... Just saying.

So much is so deeply personal, I haven’t found a way to express it yet. So, hopefully you can be happy with my sincerest gratitude.  

Jai (victory) Life

Jai 

Jai

Jai

~Dylan

Words of Advice:

I am in, by no means, a position to offer advice; however comma.  Don’t quit your job, change your life, beg, cry, demand, I mean really beg, pray, get on your knees on the earth, beg, lie on your bathroom floor begging for your life to change; if you don’t want it to.  

I did all of that, and it has.  Many people have likened my journey to “Eat, Pray, Love” a fantastic book. Mine is different order and looks different; however, I definitely have had a “bathroom floor” moment(s) (okay, I’ll cop to many bathroom floor moments). I definitely have had to take some serious “stock” of my life and look at where I am in it and decide if it’s a life worth living. Not that I was ever close to suicide, just that I had pretty much lost all hope. I was on the bathroom floor, many of those times puking because I’d been out drinking myself stupid the night before. Then, when I’d built up enough tolerance to not be a puker, I was on the bathroom floor because I couldn’t get out of bed or cried on my way to work, every day.  It was a bleak picture for me. I felt stuck, I was.  I felt trapped, I was. So, I begged, begged. I actually started praying to God back then because I needed something to prove to me that “this” was going to change.  I was one of those, “You know God,” I said, “this is kind of your last chance.  I need you to show yourself to me because I need something, anything to go right. I’ve never really truly believed in you and here’s your chance to prove to me that you do exist.”  Then my boss got fired, thank God (really), and it was too late. I was too far gone. I knew, in my core, that I needed to change everything. So, I begged some more. 

I went through the motions for some of the time. Because I was a big believer in “fake it ‘till you make it” mentality.  I knew it could only get better.  I mean, it had to right? I mean, seriously. I once went out drinking with my friends (thank GOD for them!!! They are the most amazing people on the face of the earth. Without them, I would have been in a horrible, horribly scary place), woke up the next morning and couldn’t find my keys. I walked, for the first time EVER, 5 blocks to the coffee shop to get some coffee (and I felt pretty amazing, which was amazing). I got a hold of my dear dear friend Elery asking if she had my keys. I text a couple other friends, cuz’ who KNOWS where my keys were). Finally, I decided I had nothing better to do, so why not clean my really super messy house? Upon cleaning out the kitchen sink, I found my keys!!! Yep, I lost my keys in my kitchen sink. 

Anyway, I begged for my life to change and I am ecstatically happy to let you know it has! I don’t even know to what depths yet because the magic moments are too many to count.  Though, I do know, God answers prayers. I have had WAY TOO many of mine answered these days for them not to be grace granted.  It’s no longer a coincidence. 

I still don’t know where I’m going to live, what I’m going to do, what my life is going to look like, or really anything; however, I’m in the mystery of it all still and plan to be for quite some time. I’m amazed and fascinated and really curious about where I’ll end up, but until then, I’m more than happy to just figure it out as I go.

I have never been more happy, more grateful, more filled with joy over my future based on a radical decision to leave my previous life. Tonight, I got to witness the most amazing children sing the most amazing Kirtan. I have been cared for, my every need anticipated, my every hearts yearning (that I had no idea about) satiated and my every prayer heard. I have seen men being men, holy people being holy people, women being women, and life being lived how it should be.  I can only speak of it in this description right now, because I’m still in it. I have stayed at a Krishna temple and eaten the most amazing food and woken up at 4:30am so I could go pray. I have stayed at a Vedic Farm seen orphans revel in God and woken up at 4:30am so I could go pray.  

My life has changed.

A Word on Packing:

I packed too much.  I actually would like to send some stuff to my sister and am trying to keep myself from sending most of it. I am looking to send back 3 long sleeve tops, 2 pair of yoga pants, 2 pair of socks, some electronic stuff that’s redundant and some other gift type stuff that I’ve acquired.  I am left with 3 t-shirts, 3 tank tops (yoga, sleep, undershirt), 2 leggings (I’m not far from losing 1 because of wear), 3 skirts (I bought one that I love) 3 pair of pants (one is for sleeping, 1 for yoga, 1 for every day wear), a couple pair of undies, some sports bras, 2 pair of socks, sneakers, flip flops that are on their last feet, a hair towel, 3 scarves (one of the smartest things I did was pack these. I have a couple oversized scarves and one has doubled as a sheet regularily and I am lending another out right now. The other is small and diaphanous and often is a hair covering for me (like a bandana) they’re brilliant), and a bunch of toiletries and stuff. I wash clothes once or twice a day, depending on the activity and I’m fine. No one cares if I wear the same clothes every other day. Really. I promise.

I have to sleep now so I can get up at 4:30am.

Hari Bol!

India 2.1

So, second leg. I’m including a quick excursion to Varkala as part of my second step of my Journey.  I left the Ashram a day early and went to Varkala, by the sea, where quite a few people I’d met in Neyyer Dam were going.  I met a great new friend who I shared a room with for the night and we ended up running into quite a few people. Varkala is a mix between a temple town, I’ll admit I didn’t visit any, and a tourist destination by the sea. An entire strip of the land by the cliffs and the water is one booth after another of clothing, Indian wares, restaurants, hotels, inns, jewelry, so on and so forth. Rarely is there space left available.  I had a bit of a shopping bug in me and managed to keep it down to a new colorful outfit, surely to be seen in pictures, some anklets and a skirt.  I definitely packed badly for the trip. I’ll get into that more later.  We had a beautiful room at the ends of the cliff; so quieter, with a pool and a deck with a lovely view of the sea in the near distance. It was absolutely what I needed after the last few weeks and so worth the extra expense of the trip over. If ever you find yourself in Southern India, swing by Varkala. There are Ayurvedic shops, yoga, temples, shopping, and really anything one could want in a lovely ocean setting.  I highly recommend it! We had a lovely Italian dinner and I couldn’t have been happier when my dear Sweet Alison and her boyfriend walked by us!!! We didn’t know if we were going to be 2 ships passing in the night as I had no idea where she was staying and she wasn’t sure when I was making it in, so I said a little prayer that I hoped we ran into each other and how happy could I be that we did!? We hadn’t seen each other since Yoga Teacher Training Graduation, December 12, in LA! She sends her love to everyone back in LA, by the way. She is amazing, absolutely amazing as usual... <3 my Bhakti Sister Alison!  Hopefully, our paths will cross again in Dharamsala next month... We also got to run into some of our Ashram ex-pats... It was such a wonderful night full of joy and laughter and great new friends. Hopefully my path will cross with theirs again as well... What great, great people! Here’s to you David (please thank Billy for that amazing green lemonade thing, it was divine), Paddy (Superhawk), Vari, and Fran!!!! Blessings to all of you on your paths!!!! I also got a GREAT picture of some North Face gear on mannequins dressed for the Himalayas, that I can’t wait for my TNF friends to see... I love seeing that stuff when I’m traveling. This was funnier though because they were super bundled up and ready to go when it was 100F yesterday...

Mumbai:

I now find myself in the Radhagopinath Temple in Chowpatty, outside of Mumbai. This is the home of Radhanath Swami, whom I met last year at Bhakti Fest. To say he has had a profound affect on me is an understatement.  If you’ve read “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramansa Yogananda I highly recommend his book “The Journey Home” by Radhanath Swami. And, if you struggle with Autobiography of a Yogi, Radhanath Swami’s book is a perfect book for you... 

In short, he is a Swami in India, from Chicago. He came to India in 1969, in search... What he found and has created is powerful and far reaching. He is the first “Holy Man”, for lack of a better term, who has been able to ‘speak to me’. I liken it to finding a Pastor or Father in a church, as a Christian, who can deliver the message of God in a way you understand.  It’s all God, right? HHRS (His Holiness Radhanath Swami) has done this for me. He has painted a picture, told many stories and explained the human relationship with God in a way that completely personalizes it for me.  He is one of the people in my life who has brought me God.  

I have a long and interesting relationship with religion.  I have, in essence, rejected organized religion all my life.  This relationship has shifted over the last year.  I pray. I talk to God, in many forms.  I sing to God. I sing about God. I talk to God.  I still have ‘issue’ with dogma and some of the interpretations of the words of God; however, not necessarily the word of God Himself. This, along with my teacher training, the leap of faith I took last year and study of the Bhagavad Gita have profoundly affected my human relationships as well as my divine relationships.  What I appreciate about Hindu philosophy is it’s inclusion and acceptance of all faiths and religions; though, you will still most likely never find me as a secularist, an exclusionist or preachy. I include your belief and the guy in the streets belief and find no fault in how we each choose to have a relationship with the divine, whatever you want to call the divine; be it Krishna, Science, God, Jesus, Kali, Allah, Cosmic, whatever... It’s all good.  

So, today marks the beginning of a journey with HHRS. I am absolutely speechless in gratitude that this is happening for me. I was bereft when I saw him last and didn’t know when I would be able to partake in his wisdom again. That my path has brought me here, now, is amazing.  How lucky.  My path has been so blessed. So, the next few posts, I’m sure, will shift from a very physical experience to a much more metaphysical and deeply personal (on a whole different level) experience.  Rarely do I feel nerves for what’s ahead for me. I generally meet most experiences with excitement and eyes wide.  Because I feel some of this nervousness I know there is something rich, deep and transformative for me here.  I am open to and excited to this next step.

Until next time friends.

Side note, my “getting here” was a complete and utter jeux-to-position of my getting here at the ashram.  Prem Gauranga Das picked me up at the airport and was the perfect greeting for me.  Jason showed me around the temple grounds, imparting some of his great wisdom of the lineage and the “why’s” of being Hindu and we sat and had an absolutely beautiful dinner sharing stories.  I feel so cared for and welcome and ‘held’.  My wellspring of gratitude is finding it’s depths, that’s for sure.